Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize