Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
