I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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