Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
