yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
