We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
