My nipple is on Facebook.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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