Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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