people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
