No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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