Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
