I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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