well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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