So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
