Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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