Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
