his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
