Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
