I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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