I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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