can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
