just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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