You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
