He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
