Apparently you make a good broom.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
