We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
