dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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