But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
