He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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