If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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