maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
