I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
