I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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