did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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