my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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