ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
