If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
