I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
