omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
