The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
