one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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