are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
