For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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