Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
