I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
