Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
zippers are such a cool invention
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
