I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
