i think i have herpe
just one?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This baby is an asshole
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
