Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
