i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
