Do you still have your period?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
